Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

I think they understand that I want to stay out of it, as much as possible. You know, it's strange, you hear and see this stuff happening all the time, but you don't actually know what it's like at all until it happens to you.

I've actually made my peace with death, I know it's strange, especially at my age, but I look at the big picture, and it's an inevitability, so why avoid it? I look at it like many latin countries do: Accept it, embrace it, it's a part of life, so celebrate life now!

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

i like the way you think skittle and i find that that's the way every one should think...no matter how hard liffe gets or how complicated things are...

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

One view is, for people that think their life cant get any worse that means its only gonna get better :)

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I've been feeling really good latley... I've been quite happy most of the time. But over the last few days, I've been feeling really, really crap. And then really happy again. And then really crap again. And it's really pissing me off...

And as well as that, the holidays end tomorrow... I can't go back to school, I really can't.... I've got 2 peices of coursework, and I can't do either of them...

I really do just wanna kill myself... I'm just scared to do it... And I don't know how...

Guys, I love you so much... I don't want to leave you, but I don't know what else I can do...

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

Jack, my heart sinks when I see you post in this thread. You are such a great lad it is such a shame you feel so down sometimes.

As far as coursework goes, I'm sure if you explained to youe parents the problems you are having with the coursework and your mood they would perhaps liase with your school and get some kind of help and extension for you.

Even if no extension is available really although school work is extremely important your life and your well being drastically outweigh this.

You are a fantastic young man who has a great deal to offer, so please hang in there Jack.

I had a schoolmate when I was your age. She had many of the same problems you have. We rarely talked at school but she got my phone number from somewhere. She would phone me and we'd talk for as long as she needed. Sometimes she done something silly sometimes, or she just needed someone to chat to. I think she just needed someone who was detached from her situation. To whom she could vent some spleen.

As it happens I found her on Friendsreunited the other day and she is married with kids in a jobs she enjoys. There is no sign of the problems she had in her youth.
Maybe you need someone to talk to like that, a friend, family or a professional.
Please Jack, hang on in there it will get better I assure you.

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I know I need someone to talk to, but I just hate talking... It's just something I can't do...

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You talk here all the time?

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But that's different... I don't know how, but it is...

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

it's because you don't have to look us in the eye, that's most probably why. I say loadsa stuff here I would never say to someone face to face.

Maybe venting here will do you the world of good? Do you feel better when you're here?

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I can understand...its 100x easier to talk online than to someones face and I agree with Opti vent on here or MSN would probably do you good

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It's always easier when the other person has no emotional investment in you. Just make sure you pick the right people.

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I agree, I am a really, really shy person in real life! But jack, I really do hope you can find some comfort here... I know the pressure of school work and everything can get really pants at some times, but we just have to hold strong and not let it get the better of us ;)

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Yeah... but another thing is, I try to talk, but I never know what to say...

By the way, I guess I should tell you guys that I started cutting again...

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Jack sweetheart I don't know the full story here. Are you getting any help with this? parents?

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I can't take this any more... I really can't... I love you all so much... I'm so sorry...

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death isn;t the end is it?? i don;t want it to be the end....


















i can't stop thinking about it






jack: can you think of a reason why you cut?? how do you feel when you have??
i was listening to this thing somewhere and they said how when you have just done it you feel better and then after you feel awful
when you feel sad, come here rather then that- really we're here

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oh jack you're doing really really well with your Coursework and stuff it was really taking shape!

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Hey Bud heayvy post

Man the reason your scared is cuase you know it aint right, who would it benefit if you died, noone on the good ol green earth. We all have a purpose in life, that we must fulfill, we all make a lasting impression on people. I know you think that you cant go on but you can, if was there i would give you a big hug, and as for the talking thing jsut find a good friend that you can dump on.

The cutting thing actually makes your body release endorphins, whiuch relaxe you and make your senses dull, they are the bodies natural painkillers, so maybe there is a reason you do it(I hope it is, its the simplest one)

Roxy, i never said death was the end, all i said that we die, I believe in life after death and by no means do we ever truly die, our spirit remains in heaven or hell, or whatever you happen to believe in

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Alright I know this may make waves but...

Anyone here ever hear of Borderline Personality Disorder? It's a fairly common occurance in young people, usually women, but it is gaining numbers in young men as well. It is not curable with medication due to the fact that it is an INHERENT method of coping with stress, but it is treatable with a mixture of appropriate antidepressants, didactical behavioural therapy, and some firm limits and structure.

Here is a definition I found on a Stanford University website that is pretty good from Dr. Richard Correlli:

"A person with a borderline personality disorder often experiences a repetitive pattern of disorganization and instability in self-image, mood, behavior and close personal relationships. This can cause significant distress or impairment in friendships and work. A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly and competent. They sometimes can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense structure crumbles, usually around a stressful situation like the breakup of a romantic relationship or the death of a parent.
Relationships with others are intense but stormy and unstable with marked shifts of feelings and difficulties in maintaining intimate, close connections. The person may manipulate others and often has difficulty with trusting others. There is also emotional instability with marked and frequent shifts to an empty lonely depression or to irritability and anxiety. There may be unpredictable and impulsive behavior which might include excessive spending, promiscuity, gambling, drug or alcohol abuse, shoplifting, overeating or physically self-damaging actions such as suicide gestures. The person may show inappropriate and intense anger or rage with temper tantrums, constant brooding and resentment, feelings of deprivation, and a loss of control or fear of loss of control over angry feelings. There are also identity disturbances with confusion and uncertainty about self-identity, sexuality, life goals and values, career choices, friendships. There is a deep-seated feeling that one is flawed, defective, damaged or bad in some way, with a tendency to go to extremes in thinking, feeling or behavior. Under extreme stress or in severe cases there can be brief psychotic episodes with loss of contact with reality or bizarre behavior or symptoms. Even in less severe instances, there is often significant disruption of relationships and work performance. The depression which accompanies this disorder can cause much suffering and can lead to serious suicide attempts."

This sounds like what some of you may be experiencing...maybe not the psychotic components, but the self-mutilation and the stormy relationships, impulse control, and suicidality. Borderline personality disorder is easy to spot, but tough to treat. I encourage those of you who may identify with these traits to ask for some help.

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wow....that sounds allmost exactly like me...:frown: :frown3:

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Me too... :frown:

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yup and me.... but i think that's just fuelling my hypocondria! i always think there's something wrong with me. what's a suicide gesture?

i really think it'd be a good idea for you guys to seek out professional help, i mean, this might not be the right diagnosis, but at least it puts how you're feeling into words, and you can raise specific concerns with a doctor or counsellor or someone. just please, try to get over the difficulties involved with sharing this with someone who can really help. i know how hard it is to do that, but once you've managed to share your problems with a professional, you'll wonder what took you so long

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

What's hypocondria?

Re: A word on Suicide, Please Dont
 

oh just always thinking that there's something wrong with you when there isn't

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I know I really should to a professional... I want to... but I can't. Really... It's just too scary...

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a suicide GESTURE is just that...i mental health, we divide suicide attempts into 2 categories: weak and strong, non-lethal and lethal...

gestures include superficial cutting, weak overdosing...

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so is there a specific term for failed attempts, like strong overdosing that just doesn't work, or stuff when people are found in time and things like that? also, why do people do suicide gestures? i understand that cutting isn't always about wanting to die or wanting to kill yourself, but surely overdosing is something you'd only do if you wanted to die?

hey jack, why is it too scary? they won't do anything bad, they can't tell anyone else what you've said, so what are you afraid of? perhaps if you can work that out, you'll be able to work out how to overcome it.

not that i can really advise you on stuff, i mean i'm hardly one to talk. my excuse is not that it's too scary, but that i shouldn't need to talk to someone like a counsellor. if i was any use at all i'd have a really good friend to confide in. using a counsellor seems to draw extra attention to just how pathetic i feel sometimes. stupid isn't it?

i suppose my point is that even if you know its ridiculous to be scared of talking to someone, and even if someone like me tells you that you odnt need to be, it doesn't actually change anything. even though i know that the point of counsellors is because you need someone to talk to, i still feel like thats the barrier to actually doing it. knowing i'm an idiot doesn't change it!

i only wish i knew what would change anything

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yes there is, it's called a Failed Lethal Attempt. i see them all the time. THOSE are scary. but this thing about being afraid to talk to a counsellor is common...it's always difficult to be vulnerable to a stranger.

people with this disorder do not respond well to sympathy and coddling-it only feeds the damaging behaviours and encourages the progression of the disorder. firm limits, structure, and consistency are what helps borderline personality disorder the most.

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umm.. I'm no expert. But I think that maybe, sometimes people get so down that they think they would be better off committing suicide, but then are afraid to really do it, or hoping something will intervene and make things better... something like that?

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or they change their mind half way through

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you're right diggs...that's a lot of what happens...

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yeah i know from experience- not on myself
its where you like get close so close
you're on the verge and you stop
you just stop
many reasons as to why you would do it but thats it though
but i t leaves you thinking, crying for ages and ages
and it makes you wonder sometimes- and you can't stop thinking about it
you just can't stop

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of course no one has to answer this if they don't want to, but i was just wondering, how many people here have actually tried to die? and why? tell me to piss off if you want, but i just wondered.

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I have a when I was about 13 or 14. I was depressed and anorexic and stuff. But then I actually thought I was gonna die and it scared me so much I stopped wanting to die. Then recently I went through anorexia again, but when I was at my lowest point, again something pulled me back up and I thought what's the point? Why can't I just get on with life like a normal person? Wierd huh. I think sometimes when people consider suicide, particularly teenagers, they not really thinking about it properly. You've got to think about what youre putting your friends and family through aswell as feeling sorry for yourself.

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three times... first two i actually was in my right mind, so i managed to stop what i was doing before it was too late

third time... it's a miracle i'm alive today to actually tell the tail.... i was not in my right mind that time... my illness took over, i was off my meds... someone else got in my head.... it truly is a miracle that i survived...

someday, maybe i will tell the whole thing, but not now...

i do know this: i do not regret that my attempt failed..... i am glad to be alive... i am lucky...

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wow.

i am pretty speechless cat.

i'm glad you failed.

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aww, thanks mick :hug3 me too




never thought i'd be so happy at failure! :lol:

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so glad that you are still with us cat!
and cant recall how many times i have tried to kill myself.....
so many things in my life has gone soooooo wrong and has hurt me to the point where i just cant take it anymore and sometimes i wonder why we were even put on this earth in the first place......

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I've never actually tried to kill myself. I guess that deep down, I'm scared. Scared that I'll hurt my loved ones, scared of what will happen, scared of pain. I know it, I admit it. I try not to lie to myself, try not to delude myself, and if that makes me a realist and a pessimist, then so be it. But I know that if I ever worked up the courage, I know I'd succeed, I'm the kind of person that overkills, I always want to make sure. But I haven't atempted it, and I'm alive today. I get through life, and to tell the truth, there are bad times, but there are good times too. And between you and me, the one little lie I do tell myself is "It'll all be okay"

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Same here skittle, I'm scared... I don't know what will happen when I'm dead... I'm scared it might be bad... I mean, is there an afterlife, for example?

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hey guys
I can glday say I have nevre tried to do it, in my darkest moments though i have thought about it, and im glad I dont think i would actually be able to carry it out. Cat i am so glad you survived, best failure i have heard of, it also means your jsut not speakin out of your anus(hehe cant swear) like I am, you actually have a real perspective into this. JAck and Skittle Never ever do it, not for other peoples sake, dont do it for your own sake, the reason you are scared of it because it is one of the most unnatural things to do too ones self, SO for your hearts and minds, please never do it and remember keep your heads down and pants up