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Granted but you also put on all the weight of all the food people around you are thinking of

I wish I could get rid of this peice of hideous furniture my housemate is so weirdly attached to

Wish Granted - but your housemate becomes hideous instead.

I wish I didn't have to write a 2 hr paper on Religion and Society tomorrow morning.

Granted but instead you have to write a 3 hour paper on English Politics 1800 - 2000

I wish I had the new Spider Simpson album

Granted, but in your excitement you break the album.

I wish for more understanding parents...

Wish granted, but then the world would never have been graced with DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand" and that would be a tragedy.

I wish beef jerky didn't take so long to make.

Granted, Beef Jerkey now only takes three seconds to make but those three seconds are very hazardous so no one makes it anymore (Including you >.>)

I wish for a glass of water please.

Granted, but it's a tiny paper cup and the secon you pick it up it goes all soggy and the water spills everywhere.

I wish I had a glass of wine.

wish granted, but now one turns to 5 and you spill it all over your new clothes.

I wish went it snows it wasn't so cold.

Wish granted, but the snow melts as soon as it hits the ground and never accumulates so you can never ever again have a snow ball fight or make a snow angel or build a snowman or go skiing or sledding. NONE OF THAT, ITS OVER!!!

I wish I was emotionally stable.

Wish granted but now you're physically unstable :S

I wish I lived in South Africa.