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“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

Douglas Adams

Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Woody Allen (1935 - )

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

That was a funny one, Wids!

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

Herb Caen

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), Said during a radio microphone test, 1984

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Victor Borge (1909 - 2000)

The future is much like the present, only longer.

Dan Quisenberry

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.

James Feibleman

We need to get off the longer tip.