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"I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator."

Mary H. Jones

Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.


Craig Kilborn

"It is better for you to be free of fear lying upon a pallet,than to have a golden couch and a rich table and be full of trouble."

Epicurus

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly.


--Imogene Coca

“Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.”

- Drew Barrymore

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”

-Roy Croft

Hummm... is this for me?

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

- Erich Segal

Good eye Sena

It's too hard a life for me. I could only do it - check out in that sense - if I checked out somewhere that was luxurious and within hailing distance of civilization.

-Derek Jacobi

“Civilization has gotten further and further from the so-called 'natural' man, who uses all his faculties: perception, invention, improvisation.”

- Robert Green Ingersoll

"I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned."

Michael Bay