Re: If... then... :)
 

then we wouldn't just worry about bird poop!

If i never lost at anything...

Re: If... then... :)
 

I wouldn't really know what victory tastes like.

If I stood with one leg in a refrigirator and the other leg in a burning fire....

Re: If... then... :)
 

then your body would burn, and probally fall into the refigerator. the door could close, cutting of the fires oxygen, and yours.

if i could apper on any tv show, i'd be on...

Re: If... then... :)
 

FRIENDS ... ?

if I could eat whole cows ,....

Re: If... then... :)
 

I'd need a big bowl to spit out the horns and hoofs into.


If mice are starting to make nests in my armpits....

Re: If... then... :)
 

you would have many friends :)

if every day there would be rain ...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then there would be mass flooding all over the world.

If the month of April decided not the show up this year, and we went straight into May instead...

Re: If... then... :)
 

Then the Earth's weather patterns will go straight to hell.... like they haven't already..

If one day gravity went sideways

Re: If... then... :)
 

then.... the world would stop spinning, and we'd float into space

If underware was the only form of currency.....

Re: If... then... :)
 

then nobody would wear it.

If people were only born on tuesday, and they only died on thrusday...

Re: If... then... :)
 

Re: If... then... :)
 

Then 12 o'clock would hunt down 11 o'clock and 6 while they were in Vegas and would ensure that their time was up. The CSI team would be puzzled by the time frame of the murders and the strange elongated "hand" prints all over the place. 9 o'clock would step forward in a timely manner to shed some insight into the mind of the killer and 3.15 would decide at 4:20 to burn up the session notes when she discovered that her ZigZags were sitting at home next to her alarm clock.

If a global competiton revolved around getting to the bottom of the eternal, "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck would chuck wood?" then...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then the worlds top scientists would spend millions on dollers researching woodchucks and engeneering them to chuck wood, creating a mutant race of wood chucking woodchucks, that could chuck wood.

If the planet pluto suddenly disappered...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then all over the world Conspirary Theorists would claim that their government has had it painted black, to use it as a secret meeting place with little green beings.

If I wake up one morning and my dog asks me.....

Re: If... then... :)
 

then i would stay all day at home talking to your dog!

If we had thorns instead of hair...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then it wouldn't have been so painful for Jesus on that cross.

If wrong was right and right was wrong, would it still be wrong to think elvis is alive

Re: If... then... :)
 

:S

no?

if i was an animal

Re: If... then... :)
 

Then you would look like your avatar!

If I didn't have to work today...

Re: If... then... :)
 

u would bake a cake

if i was a cook

Re: If... then... :)
 

then I would make you cook for me all the time! :drool:

If I had more courage ...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then I would post my most embarrassing pictures.

If I had half the brains I always pretend to have...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then I would be a real genius.

If I could stop hearing the voices in my head ...

Re: If... then... :)
 

I wouldn't know what to do!

If ifs were buts and buts were ifs...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then the sherrbut would wipe his ift.

If everybody was as goodlooking as I am....

Re: If... then... :)
 

women would be bored with so much beauty? :)

if we all weared glasses

Re: If... then... :)
 

Then we would be able to behold the beauty more easily!

If foxes ruled the world...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then being a rabbit is not an option.

If, however, rabbits ruled the world....

Re: If... then... :)
 

Then carrots would be the main course in all restaurants! :winky:

If cars could be run on water...

Re: If... then... :)
 

we would never again be thursty?

if water was black

Re: If... then... :)
 

then no one would notice that avsf is dirty all the time :lol:.

If I could write in Portuguese ....

Re: If... then... :)
 

it would also be nice if I could read Portuguese!

If boogers, bellybutton-fluff and toenail-clippings weren't a delicatesse ......

Re: If... then... :)
 

(So if I am reading that right, in the Netherlands they ARE considered a delicacy?!)

then people in the Netherlands would simply consider them disgusting and throw them away like the rest of the world.

If you suddenly sprouted antennae from your head then...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then i'd recive the call from the mother ship, and start the take over of earth! BWHAHAHAHA!

If stop lights were an alien speicis...

Re: If... then... :)
 

then they must wonder why people in Shanghai very rarely pay them any attention whatsoever, and slowly they would be preparing to wage war on Chinese taxi drivers

If cheese was the secret formula for youthfulness

Re: If... then... :)
 

I would cease to exist as I would have gone back past the point of conception... I loves me the cheese!!

If you woke up without your pants in a Mexican prison with a tattoo of Panco the toothless clown on your behind...

Re: If... then... :)
 

...you start thinking: 'damn that's the fourth time this month! I'm not doing this on purpose, am I?"

If Chuck Norris was finally elected president .....

Re: If... then... :)
 

then peace in the Middle East would come from a flying roundhouse kick. Because we all know that:

1. Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

2. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1985 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a business card from the Bunny Ranch, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 4 of diamonds, 7 of spades and a yellow #2 UNO card.

3. If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

If a meteor the size of Cuba was headed towards the Earth, ensuring the demise of every living thing except cockroaches (and Chuck Norris) then you would...

Re: If... then... :)
 

change my name by deed poll to Chuck Norris!

If I had 7 days to change the world....

Re: If... then... :)
 

(THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! I won't tell Chuck Norris that you said that though.)

... I would hire Chuck Norris and take a six day cruise with the rest of my week. (I NOW DEEM THE CHUCK NORRIS PHASE OVER... unless someone starts a new thread... hmmmmm... maybe I will.)

If you woke up and realized you had won the lottery then...

Re: If... then... :)
 

I soon realize I ALWAYS wake up realizing that I won the lottery, but there seems to be a lot of miscommunication between the Lottery and my Bank.

If I was given three wishes, and spend the first two wishes on two bottles of beer that would never go empty, my third wish would be.....

Re: If... then... :)
 

a box of hand made chocolate truffles that will never get me fat!:joy:

If i could wear a coat and make my self invisible then...