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then they must wonder why people in Shanghai very rarely pay them any attention whatsoever, and slowly they would be preparing to wage war on Chinese taxi drivers

If cheese was the secret formula for youthfulness

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I would cease to exist as I would have gone back past the point of conception... I loves me the cheese!!

If you woke up without your pants in a Mexican prison with a tattoo of Panco the toothless clown on your behind...

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...you start thinking: 'damn that's the fourth time this month! I'm not doing this on purpose, am I?"

If Chuck Norris was finally elected president .....

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then peace in the Middle East would come from a flying roundhouse kick. Because we all know that:

1. Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

2. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1985 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a business card from the Bunny Ranch, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 4 of diamonds, 7 of spades and a yellow #2 UNO card.

3. If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

If a meteor the size of Cuba was headed towards the Earth, ensuring the demise of every living thing except cockroaches (and Chuck Norris) then you would...

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change my name by deed poll to Chuck Norris!

If I had 7 days to change the world....

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(THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! I won't tell Chuck Norris that you said that though.)

... I would hire Chuck Norris and take a six day cruise with the rest of my week. (I NOW DEEM THE CHUCK NORRIS PHASE OVER... unless someone starts a new thread... hmmmmm... maybe I will.)

If you woke up and realized you had won the lottery then...

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I soon realize I ALWAYS wake up realizing that I won the lottery, but there seems to be a lot of miscommunication between the Lottery and my Bank.

If I was given three wishes, and spend the first two wishes on two bottles of beer that would never go empty, my third wish would be.....

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a box of hand made chocolate truffles that will never get me fat!:joy:

If i could wear a coat and make my self invisible then...

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my career as an exhibitionist would be over.

If I had received a penny for every time I.....

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ahahhahahahaha

... smile then i would have been all wringled by know and still waiting to become milionaire!

If i was given 10 US$ everytime i pass the traffic lights with red then...