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...I really don't want to be seen in public with you.

I went out on a date with your father because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

he's so much manlier than you are :tongue:


I made mty supervisor cry because...

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I gave a 3 nine year old kids a million dollar loan... because they fooled me into thinking they were 37 by standing on each others shoulders and wearing a trench coat with a beer.

I managed to never wash the dishes because...

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I've always had someone who does it for me! :biggrin:

I didn't clean the bathroom the other day like I said I would because...

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I saw that you peed all over the floor so I figured you hsould clean it up... you have made the bigest mess in this bathroom.

I spilt lotion in your bed and didnt clean it up because...

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...It made your bed smell nicer than it did? :lol:

I set my dog on your biggest and fluffiest teddy bear because...

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He needed more than your... come one 200 teddy bears is just a little to many dont you think?

I stole all the candles and flashlights and hid them during the black out because...

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...I'm a vampire - no, honestly I am! I love the darkness... :zlaugh:

I chucked your computer out of the window because...

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It called me fat and tried to get me to buy diet pills... does my butt look big in these pants hunny

I ran and hid when I saw the snow because...

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I'm just that sick and tired of winter and I know spring isn't coming yet... Hibernation, hell why not? Bears do it... :cheesy:


I can't shovel the walkway because..

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my shovel broke during our last wind storm.

I tried to fix your window that I broke because ...

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that way you wouldnt know i broke into your house.

i put my homework in the paper shredder because

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I am soooo tired of my dog eating it. Besides, the vet said that the paper was hard for him to digest, so this way if he eats it, it will be a little easier on him. And, all I have to do is get a few pieces of tape before I hand it in and it will be good as new.

I put a pound of sugar in your gas tank because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I wanted to see if it would work, it was a energy saving experiment...

I didnt come to the boat party because...

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because sitting in a rubber dingy with a paper plate of food and a plasitc cup of cordial is not my idea of fun. Also I wanted to tape the footy that day.

I asked you to walk my dog and I dont have a dog, I asked you to babysit for me when I have no children, and I invited you to visit my villa in Tuscany when I only own a motor home. And I did it all because....

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because i want to have an excuse to see you

i know when i discover all those things you will be disappointed at me, but i just cannot help from cheating you, because

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I have a horrible addiction and I just can't help myself! :eek:

I promised you that I'd start using the gym membership you bought me but I haven't gone because...

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I promised you that I'd start using the gym membership you bought me but I haven't gone because I go to a different restaurant every single evening and I have no any time for gym! :lol9:

The reason why I told you I would marry you at once but now I won't is ....

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...because I caught a glimpse at what you look like in the morning and .... to be honest, I don't think I can be doinig that for the rest of my life!!!

I put salt in your coffee instead of sugar because ...

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i know oyu have open wounds in your mouth

i constantly fall asleep at the wheel because...

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I spend hours that I should be sleeping posting on Nordinho.net.

I threw that brick through your window because...

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because I was fed up with your neglect and wanted you to pay me some attention at last!

I lied to you that I have a twin sister because...

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the girl that works in that jewelery shop looks so much like me i wanted to see your reaction!

thanks to you i had a long weekend full of good friends but most of all i will never forget it because...

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We had a horrible fight and I never want to talk with you again! :cry:

The homeless man asked you to buy him a cup of coffee but you refused because...

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have asked him before for some money to take the bus and he said no!

i dont know why i listen to you in the first place! i shouldnt have done that because...

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...because you don't know anything about life and all you have said till now has proven to be a bullshit.

I didn't want to get you any flowers because I know you don't like getting them, but I brought you some roses because...

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... everyone knows that when you sleep with your girlfriend's sister, no matter how drunk you were, you have to buy some roses.

I sent that one embarassing picture of you to the newspaper because...

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hahah that was funny, mpadfield :joy:

...because I really wanted to show your parents how you look like when you have no money for any clothes.

I didn't want to break you computer at the beginning, but afterwards I broke it and I even enjoyed it because...

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I saw that you were sending nudey pictures of me to all your friends so opps there went your computer.

I lit your bed on fire because...

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what can I say.. Im just that good a lover :winky:

I signed you up for the army for a few years (give or take) because..

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I shaved your head and wrote on you while you were asleep.

I sold you my car beacuse..

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I owe you for numerous nights of debauchery from our college days. With student loans and my new mortgage, it was just easier to sell you the car for pennies on the dollar. Besides, the brakes are shot, the shocks are dead, the oil should have been changed 4,500 miles ago, and I can't get the stain out from the night you drank too many Jager Bombs and puked on the back seat on the way to the pizza place.

I decided to dub you with the nickname, Peaches because...

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peaches are my favourite fruit in the whole world!

I think you have to have a cold shower because...

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I forgot to pay the utilities bill and we have no hot water....


I didn't tell that before you got in the shower because....

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I wanted you to freak out and scream because I needed to get you back for the time you squirted ketchup all over me and screamed shes been shot in the middle of the restaurant.

I screamed when you started talking because...

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you were attempting to tell me the ending to the book I am reading, you inconsiderate turd. Why is it that you feel the need to squash everything that I might find pleasure in? You stomped on my bonsai trees, left the lids off my finger paints, smushed all of my Playdoh into one ugly ball, smashed my favorite chips into tiny pieces in the bag, and shot my dog. I think it is time I re-evaluate our friendship.

I rearranged all of the keys on your keyboard because...

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because you always type so fast that i can never finish the typing work ahead of you.

i'm very hungry, but i cannot dine out with you

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frankly.. You chew with your mouth open and make these disgusting slurpy sounds when you eat and I just can't stomach that. It completely kills the appetite.. :nodder:


I can't meet you at the store for the dress fittings because...

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because never again am I going to stand there and say you look fine, and that your bum is not big and you are not getting fat. I mean I consider myself an honest person, but thats just too hard for me to keep doing.

I swapped the tubes of toothpaste and foot fungus cream and then stood there smiling while you bathed your feet, brushing your teeth; because....

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Well because after I forced you to go to the dress fitting, you told me that my bum is getting big, I am fat and in that colour of brown and the type of fabric I looked like a mud slide waiting to happen... I suppose it's fair to say, I got a little angry... but since you are the one who first put your foot in your mouth. I thought the swap fitting... :tongue:


I didn't buy the calomine lotion for your poison ivy rash because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

that rash makes you look so attractive... *whistle*

I Didn't drive the speed limit in your new car because...