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its the only time i can see the guy who is all my father, brother, and cousin.


I can`t wait to jump in the pool filled with jello because

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I'm hungry and I could use a bath... :yuck:


I was unable to prevent your cat from getting outside because....

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I was sneezing.

I opened your rare bottle of wine and poured it on the carpet so the door to door salesman could demonstrate his product because...

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I was so drunk I thought you'd laugh as much as I did...

I ate a huge chocolate cake on my own and then had a really bad stomach ache because...

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the eggs in the chocolate cake were spoiled!

I just founds out that my boss is not coming to work today because...

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because the idiot who told me made it sound like "the moss isnt running win today" when he told me. such an idiot.


I Let your favurite umbrella get stolen deliberately because.....

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because you printed on it my favourite picture and the guy who stole it was so cute!

I will leave your back door open because...

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the little poodle needs to come in and out


I leaked the top secret military documents to my grandmother who in turn, gave them to her knitting circle because.....

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they are all double agents.


The goverment agents are all posing as members of the knitting group because....

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It was the best way for them to gain intel on their enemies! :)

I told you not to come with me tonight because...

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the place with be full of beautiful single men!!!

I have been trying all day to tie this rope on the door because

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The lock is broken and the werewolves are out.

I need lots and lots of garlic and silver.......

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to fend off the hungry vampires and werewolves.


I can't stay and help you becaues...

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I had to go bake those pies that you gave me the recipe for..Those ones that you love so much..:biggrin:


I shaved your eyebrows while you were sleeping because

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well... it's tradition, you did fall asleep first after all. :cheesy:


I didn't take your bra out of the freezer even though I knew your other friends hid it in there because....

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i wanted to see your face when i said i found it and put in on you in the morning...:biggrin:


I slept on your new suede sofa in my fishing clothes and boots because...

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well, after the bear chased me out of the lake and through the woods, across the field, through the ditch, under the bridge, through the park and down the street to our house I was so tired, I didn't have the energy to change. But look, all that and I didn't lose my lucky fishing rod... :lol:



I can't go into work tomorrow because...

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i need to find another fishing rod.

you came on to me like a beast because

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Ummm, I never did that... I think you were dreaming... :badgrin:


I couldn't help you clean out the garage because...

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because you wanted to watch me do it! you perv!:drool:

you are watching the frog eat flies at 4 am because

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it's a lovely summer evening and it's actually quite fascinating to watch... Well, that and everything on the tv is a repeat... :lol:


I can't walk your dog anymore because...

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he doesnt like my beautiful persian cat i just bought!!!

Oh this coffee you just made is so strange may its because...

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it tastes like the cleaner you used on the kettle... (that happened to me tonight actually.. :lol:)


I didn't stop and pick up the milk on my way home because...

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i thought its better to eat almonds from now on for my calcium!!!

You know that Christmas are gone a month ago? Because...

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I can zipper my pants without holding my breath anymore... :lol:


I didn't pay the taxes on the house while you were out of the country like you asked me and now it's being auctioned by the city because...

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it was haunted and I had to get rid of it.


I didn't meet you like we planned on Saturday or call you to cancel because......

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someone told me that the best relationship is one with understanding, so ....why dont you understand I am lazy and thoughtless... geeez you are picky!!


never did I want to marry you, never did I like you at all, not once did I want to kiss you, and spending every minute with you has always been a painful torture. But I did it all because.....

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I owed a huge amount of money to a very dangerous drug cartel and once you "accidentally" died I would inherit your large fortune.

I didn't like Star Wars 4, neither episodes 4, 5, 1, 2 and 3 but every time a new one was released I went to the cinema and watched them because...

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all cute men go to see it and i want to be there with them! hahahaaha


I dont think you have seen that little glass door over there because...

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because you keep staring at that woman's breasts.


I allowed my family to move into our marital home because....

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They lost their homes in a horrible storm and had no place else to live! :cry:

:jossun:

I slashed all four tires on you care because...

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because I had a really terrible nightmare about your trip and didn't want you to go there.

I didn't warn you that she was coming ...

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because i saw you running so clumsy and it was so funny to see you fall on top of her! hi hi hi

All day you keep talking and talking i am excausted now because...

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you speak in a random mix of 4 different languages and just trying to listen to you is a lot of work... :smile:


I'm not going to return the umbrella you lent me because..

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It's going to rain again tomorrow.


In a former life time I was an Egyptian Princess. I know this because I always dream of................

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Egyptian princes... :drool: :flirt:


I saw the puddle you parked beside and didn't warn you before you stepped out of your car because..

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its the only way I knew I could get you to change those dreadfull pants you always wear... and you still didnt change them *sigh*


I let the dog eat the work assignment you had to take in monday, and all I did to stop him was clap and shout "Go boy go, get that lousy work assignment!" because.......

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well I read it and I thought you'd be better off having nothing done than to actually hand in that misguided, long winded, meaningless drivel... You should be thanking me, really!


I didn't fix the garbage disposal today because....

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they were running a repeat of the dog show on TV and you know how much I love the expression on the judge's face when the Cocker bit him on the butt.

I threw all of the change in my pocket at the man dressed as a leprechaun because...

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I had so many and they were making too much noice in my pocket!

If you are leaving dont forget to take my shoes because...

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you need something to throw on that big mean looking dog outside

that dog is always following me around because...