Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because I think the "All Chimpanzee Orchestra" are starting to lose their touch.


I know I told you on the internet that I was over 6 foot tall, attractive, late twenties, with a good job and a love of children and wants to start a family, when in actuality I am 49yrs old, 72 kilos, have divorced twice, hate kids and am unemployed with a fierce alcohol dependancy and collect McDonalds drink containers because.....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because I never would have agreed to spend all that money on plane tickets and take time off of work to go and see you if I had known the truth...


I can't keep your 12 children and 4 dogs for the weekend at my house because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

i have my mother in law and my parents with chickenpox!!!

Well i did the reservation as i told you i just forgot to add your name and now everything is fully booked you cant go but instead i have to go because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I have a date with the guy that booked the reservation... :blush:


I did wash your clothes but didn't put them in the dryer because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I throw away the dryer and in its place i put this lovely antique table you told me to buy with your credit card last night!

I was driving all day and i am excausted but i forgot to wash the car...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because nothing but sleep occured to me at the time



I have not one, not two, but three belly buttons and I have been hiding them under an especially large belt because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because I have so much fluff in them my tummy looks like a rug...



I haven't combed my hair for days because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I was told the answer to life's happiness is in messy hair...


I didn't take down the Christmas decorations yet because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

Christmas are coming so quickly anyway so i didnt bother! They will be here in no time again!

I cant go to the church anymore because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

Featch's evilness holds me back....:lol:


I dyed your work shirts pink because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

pink makes you look sexy even when you work :lol: ...

I won't ever go to cinema with you because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

you laugh like a chimpanzee and its so embarassing...:lol:



I won't hang you undewear on the washing line because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

you should learn to clean it first


I only stole your gameboy and left a empty box with a drawing of a gameboy in its place because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I only wanted to borrow it for a few hours and didn't think you'd miss it! :)

I emptied out your refridgerator and threw away all your food because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

it was so stale and stinky that I would stifle!

Yesterday I gave away all your paintings and I didn't keep even one of them because ...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

They were just that horrible! :winky:

I got your car towed out of my driveway because.... :jossun:

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

it was just a big fat ugly blob, and i couldn't have my guests thinking it was MY car

so i was listening to my MP3 player in class because

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

class was so boring and dull and i needed to keep awake




i laughed so hard that milk came out of my nose because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

your jokes are so funny

i walked into a door because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I was testing my new magical power... It still needs some work


I didnt bring your lunch to work today like you asked me because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

i didnt see it




i took your car because.....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I couldn't find my keys.


I trip over the sofa because____________

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because it was huge and old and in the middle of the room




i forgot to suck up to the teachers today because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I actually didn't need too, not today.


The teacher sucked up to me because????

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because he didnt want to get fired and my dad was the opposing attorney in his case




i dont eat meat because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

It is one of Gods living creatures.


I do eat meat because.

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

It is tasty

I can't fall asleep because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I want to watch for 345545 times Casablanca!!!

I did my very best to try and keep in touch with you but i didnt make it because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

Things just got so hectic that I didn't have the time any more.

:jossun:

I didn't read that report I needed to for work because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

i trust that since it was coming from you boss it would have been fantastic!!!

All i can do is rub you up as a present because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

because I know that's the only thing that can make you happy! :sarcastic

I didn't wake you up this morning because ...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

You looked so cute asleep like that



I had only one word to say to you as the jury pronounced you guilty on all charges, and yes i know the word was "bye" because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I just couldn't live with what you did.

:jossun:

I threw away your glasses because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I didn't want you to see what I look like now that I've cut my hair.. It's horrid.. :lol:


I left the milk container in the fridge empty because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I decided maybe I shouldn't have left it next to the furnace...

I shaved your head while you were sleeping because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I was looking for the 666 on your head... I found it too... :yikes:


I didn't fill the car with gas because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

The price of petrol is way to much.


I danced in the rain because........

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

It was so refreshing I just couldn't help myself...


I didn't keep my appointment with the dentist because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

the denstist smells.

i don't want to go and buy my new school shoes because

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

the school marm who sizes my feet for the new shoes always gets a little too touchy-feely and it creeps me out.


I had to leave the restaurant with the two attractive men (or women) who were watching me from the bar, right in the middle of... well what ever you were about to say to me, down on the floor on one knee like that, clutching that little blue box in one hand, sweating nervously, (I still dont know what the hell you were going to say though) because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

i hardly ever pay attention to you anyways.. and your name was again??

i went to albequerque insteab of las vegas because...