Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I owe you for numerous nights of debauchery from our college days. With student loans and my new mortgage, it was just easier to sell you the car for pennies on the dollar. Besides, the brakes are shot, the shocks are dead, the oil should have been changed 4,500 miles ago, and I can't get the stain out from the night you drank too many Jager Bombs and puked on the back seat on the way to the pizza place.

I decided to dub you with the nickname, Peaches because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

peaches are my favourite fruit in the whole world!

I think you have to have a cold shower because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I forgot to pay the utilities bill and we have no hot water....


I didn't tell that before you got in the shower because....

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

I wanted you to freak out and scream because I needed to get you back for the time you squirted ketchup all over me and screamed shes been shot in the middle of the restaurant.

I screamed when you started talking because...

Re: Excuses Not To....!
 

you were attempting to tell me the ending to the book I am reading, you inconsiderate turd. Why is it that you feel the need to squash everything that I might find pleasure in? You stomped on my bonsai trees, left the lids off my finger paints, smushed all of my Playdoh into one ugly ball, smashed my favorite chips into tiny pieces in the bag, and shot my dog. I think it is time I re-evaluate our friendship.

I rearranged all of the keys on your keyboard because...

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because you always type so fast that i can never finish the typing work ahead of you.

i'm very hungry, but i cannot dine out with you

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frankly.. You chew with your mouth open and make these disgusting slurpy sounds when you eat and I just can't stomach that. It completely kills the appetite.. :nodder:


I can't meet you at the store for the dress fittings because...

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because never again am I going to stand there and say you look fine, and that your bum is not big and you are not getting fat. I mean I consider myself an honest person, but thats just too hard for me to keep doing.

I swapped the tubes of toothpaste and foot fungus cream and then stood there smiling while you bathed your feet, brushing your teeth; because....

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Well because after I forced you to go to the dress fitting, you told me that my bum is getting big, I am fat and in that colour of brown and the type of fabric I looked like a mud slide waiting to happen... I suppose it's fair to say, I got a little angry... but since you are the one who first put your foot in your mouth. I thought the swap fitting... :tongue:


I didn't buy the calomine lotion for your poison ivy rash because....

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that rash makes you look so attractive... *whistle*

I Didn't drive the speed limit in your new car because...