Questioning
The upside of cleaning ...
I'm trying to clean my room this weekend - and I'm being thorough this time! This means that I take all my books from the shelve, as they're becoming very dusty 
It is not really voluntarily though - I've lost a study book and I think it should be somewhere in my room 
At least I hope so, it wasn't a cheap one! 
While going through all those books I found an old, hard covered book which once had only empty pages. I started to use it as a dairy in 1999 (the date on the first page), but after 2 pages it became more of a "to put toughts to paper" than a history of my life
I've always had that problem with dairies: I start babbling in all directions 
Sounds familiar? 
It surprises me that almost 10 years later my thoughts are quite the same. I still cite lyrics or poems a lot to make my message clear. I still often end up thinking about war and its horrors, while I always notice I don't know a thing about it
. I still don't know what I want to be. 
And I still quit writing things down in one book to start in another, just because I think "I can start all over and do better" 
It was strange to read about the past that way (only 10 pages actually). I found a picture of me, my sister and my dad talking next to the cars just before I'd go away on a school trip to Rome. I see that I hold a sigarette in my hand while I know I didn't smoke: it was a chocolate one my sister had saved up for me from Sinterklaas (like Xmas in other countries) because she knew I'd be thrilled to get one in April
And my hair was red on the picture - the first time I dyed it 
Under the picture I had glued a small note with the message "Good luck with the papers, girl - Mom and Dad". I had found that one Saturday morning, getting up early to do my paper round. Such a small gesture, but it made me do my job with a huge smile
And it made me smile again just now 
I had forgotten all about it though, didn't remember that dad used to leave such messages
To the left of all this was a poem given to me by my (now deceased) aunt. Or rather my dad's aunt, but we called her the same way as he did
As it is in English, I would like to share it with you all:
I googled it and found out that this is from Cicely Mary Barker, the author of the "Flower Fairies". I always thought my mother was the one who loved those series, but apparently my aunt did too. Or she wrote that poem down to give to my mother, who gave it to me. Also a possibility 
Sometimes I wish I had a better memory But on the other hand, as I don't I'm more often surprised by finding things from the past as I do now
It makes cleaning a little less of a bother
Though I still haven't found that book
It is not really voluntarily though - I've lost a study book and I think it should be somewhere in my room At least I hope so, it wasn't a cheap one! While going through all those books I found an old, hard covered book which once had only empty pages. I started to use it as a dairy in 1999 (the date on the first page), but after 2 pages it became more of a "to put toughts to paper" than a history of my life
I've always had that problem with dairies: I start babbling in all directions Sounds familiar? It surprises me that almost 10 years later my thoughts are quite the same. I still cite lyrics or poems a lot to make my message clear. I still often end up thinking about war and its horrors, while I always notice I don't know a thing about it
. I still don't know what I want to be. And I still quit writing things down in one book to start in another, just because I think "I can start all over and do better" It was strange to read about the past that way (only 10 pages actually). I found a picture of me, my sister and my dad talking next to the cars just before I'd go away on a school trip to Rome. I see that I hold a sigarette in my hand while I know I didn't smoke: it was a chocolate one my sister had saved up for me from Sinterklaas (like Xmas in other countries) because she knew I'd be thrilled to get one in April
And my hair was red on the picture - the first time I dyed it Under the picture I had glued a small note with the message "Good luck with the papers, girl - Mom and Dad". I had found that one Saturday morning, getting up early to do my paper round. Such a small gesture, but it made me do my job with a huge smile
And it made me smile again just now I had forgotten all about it though, didn't remember that dad used to leave such messages To the left of all this was a poem given to me by my (now deceased) aunt. Or rather my dad's aunt, but we called her the same way as he did
As it is in English, I would like to share it with you all: Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Sometimes I wish I had a better memory But on the other hand, as I don't I'm more often surprised by finding things from the past as I do now It makes cleaning a little less of a bother
Though I still haven't found that book
Total Comments 6
Comments
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Look back on the past with fondness and with hope for the future............
and good luck finding your bookPosted 11-09-2008 at 02:45 PM by Nitehawk
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I love this one! Cheers to your auntie!
For finding the bookSpoiler:Posted 11-09-2008 at 04:27 PM by Tarya Nórui
Updated 11-09-2008 at 04:30 PM by Tarya Nórui -
i read the title and thought how on earth can there be an upside to cleaning but the trip down memorylane always is a nice one, though it never helps me clean cause i find old stuff to read and then when i'm done browsing through my room looks even worse then before
Like the poem alot, and about the book, don't know how many backpacks you have but check those as well, since i remember in my case that's where i left books i couldn't find anymore in a backpack i didn't use that much anymore and otherwise, under the bed sometimes works as well Posted 11-09-2008 at 05:22 PM by angelstar -
That's a lovely story SFM
BTW I hope you find your book
Posted 11-09-2008 at 07:43 PM by sasquatch -
Thank you all, but it was AngelStar's idea that finally did the trick - it was in my (thrown in the middle of the room 
) backpack Thank you all Posted 11-09-2008 at 08:17 PM by itSFMe -
Sf I love reading your thoughts, and it reminded me when I was 18 I thought, I hope I can remember all the stuff that happens it would make a great book..Well to much happens and I find it will come to me with something like reading what you wrote..Thanks for the memory jolt ...I really should write it all down one day!! Hugs hon!!Posted 11-09-2008 at 10:34 PM by Clee
