My Dad just called to ask me to go sailing with him this Monday and Tuesday. I could hear in his voice that he really wanted me to come along. He knows my lessons have just started again and he thinks education is very important. So he asked whether it might be possible that I had no lessons on those days - otherwise he wouldn't want me to go. I skip lessons more than once though, he knows this and is worried about it. But he doesn't understand that it can be very boring and time in-efficient to go to class instead of study by oneself. Anyhow, that is not the point, the point is that I really like to go and don't mind what classes I would miss because of it - even though some are compulsary and I would probably have some trouble putting that right later.

But I cannot go because of my job. I'm helping newly arrived students to get known with the university and started with it all. I just have to be on the faculty that Monday and Tuesday, since I promised that to them since I didn't know about the sailing then. I can not postpone these appointments, it would not be fair towards those new students. It is really just the beginning of the year and it is quite important to get a good start.

On the other hand, if I would get sick this weekend I couldn't help them either and a collegue of me would fill in. I know that is not a sound argument, 'cause that way you can get out of everything, but it spooks around in my mind. My dad would be so happy if I'd go with him and well ... the fact that he called while he knew it might interfere with me studying ... that says a lot.

Oh and by the way, I haven't chosen all the classes I wanna take this tremester so I need all my days on the university more than I did earlier. This is the first year not all classes are prescribed, actually none So staying away and not talking with professors about that might even mean
I'll graduate 3 months later. Not that I really believe that, but it could happen.

Further more, I'll go to a masterclass today about genetic manipulation on humans - nothing to do with my study and skipping classes for it That's also a reason why I'm mad at myself, for today I do let those students on their own (they have a meeting), but that is at the end of the week instead of in the beginning when they have to divide tasks - I know they'll manage perfectly well they are not small children or something. But that I do this today and not Monday and Tuesday ... well, I planned this 3 months agoo ... that might be some reason ...

Oh how I hate responsibility! I will not go with dad, but I hate to do so. I'll see him this weekend though (after 2 months) so we can have some quality time anyhow. But it still sucks and I feel like I'm letting him down.

And the reason why I've written this out is that I hoped to find a way to get out of it all - but it did not work

Well ... Maybe I just make too much out of it. I could have found a solution for the study-choice in the time I typed this - though I highly doubt it since I don't know where I wanna go with it Anyway ...

A good weekend to you all - I'll be gone to my parents where internet isn't available.