I'm crazy, at least my bricklaying dad thinks so.
I'm Quitting for a While
Posted 03-21-2006 at 04:59 AM by FMAnubis
I give up. I'm done. I quit. I'm gonna give up on girls for a while. No more of this me chasing after them hoping for a happy ending crap. I need something real. No games, no mind games, I refuse to be used any more.I'm not going to let girls use me for filling temporary voids. I'm not a filler, and I'm not a "Love-Intern" I'm not going to allow myself this sort of physical pain because of emotional problems...
From now on if there is a girl out there who knows what she wants, and if thats me, then maybe I'll consider it. But no more of this me laying my feelings out on the line to get shot to oblivion. I'm sorry, I'm not going to do it anymore. My heart is actually hurting, and it hurts to breathe a little bit.
But I dont know anymore. Some girl was mad that I wouldnt date her, and she's crazy. She put really creepy Post-It notes all over my walls in my dorm room, Heather is crazy. And Mia...is a lost cause. There is no talking to her... she knows what she's going to do, and there is nothing I can do about anything. All I can do is make my feelings go away. And that's the hardest part... I think i have more crying to do. I dont want to cry anymore. Im a guy, and I've done more crying in the last month, then I have in my entire life. All of my ex-g/f's are now dating my best friends...and I dont even know if there is something wrong with that. I tell myself there isnt, when in fact my mind may say differently.
My heart hasn't been here recently. It's been repairing, and it takes hit after hit, cut after cut. (No I'm not cutting. Don't worry, I mean emotionally.) So right now my heart is like my bad Big Toe which i hurt really bad, and I keep stubbing, and hitting it. Thats what im doing to my heart. So my mind has been pulling double duty, and they need to get together and get smart, and figure out whats going on.
I'm lost...so like I said...I want the girl to come to me...knowing she wants me. Thats it. Flat out. No more games, no more issues...just the way it is. I'm done.
G'Night
~Bill~
From now on if there is a girl out there who knows what she wants, and if thats me, then maybe I'll consider it. But no more of this me laying my feelings out on the line to get shot to oblivion. I'm sorry, I'm not going to do it anymore. My heart is actually hurting, and it hurts to breathe a little bit.
But I dont know anymore. Some girl was mad that I wouldnt date her, and she's crazy. She put really creepy Post-It notes all over my walls in my dorm room, Heather is crazy. And Mia...is a lost cause. There is no talking to her... she knows what she's going to do, and there is nothing I can do about anything. All I can do is make my feelings go away. And that's the hardest part... I think i have more crying to do. I dont want to cry anymore. Im a guy, and I've done more crying in the last month, then I have in my entire life. All of my ex-g/f's are now dating my best friends...and I dont even know if there is something wrong with that. I tell myself there isnt, when in fact my mind may say differently.
My heart hasn't been here recently. It's been repairing, and it takes hit after hit, cut after cut. (No I'm not cutting. Don't worry, I mean emotionally.) So right now my heart is like my bad Big Toe which i hurt really bad, and I keep stubbing, and hitting it. Thats what im doing to my heart. So my mind has been pulling double duty, and they need to get together and get smart, and figure out whats going on.
I'm lost...so like I said...I want the girl to come to me...knowing she wants me. Thats it. Flat out. No more games, no more issues...just the way it is. I'm done.
G'Night
~Bill~
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Re: I'm Quitting for a While
Bill--as for ex-girlfriends, one of my VERY serious relationships, is now marrying my best friend that I grew up with. It is still tough, and will be even worse when I stand along side on the alter and watch her! I know where you are coming from there.
Just have an open mind. For some reason, women seem to flock to you more when you don't seem to be looking. It just kind of happens that way. Keep your head up, buddy, you'll do fine.Posted 03-21-2006 at 05:28 AM by GoldStubb
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Re: I'm Quitting for a While
Hey Bill - exactly, keep your head up. I feel for you so much, heh I just got dumped 4 days ago too - we're all in the same boat.
As for your feelings...cry ahead. Let it all out. You'll feel better after, trust me. I've tried for 5 years to force my feelings to go away...the most painful feelings I have ever had - I tried to drive them away by sheer willpower. But they won't go away just like that. Whatever you are feeling, it is you and those feelings are part of you so it's better to stick with them and let them out.
I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. I've been reading your blog, you seem a really great and likeable person. (And you've got the helper syndrome, I like that! Haha you remind me of myself). If you like, you can PM me. I'm there!
Lots of happiness
~FleurPosted 03-21-2006 at 10:56 AM by Flamenco_Fleur
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Re: I'm Quitting for a While
I have found in my experiences with relationships,that I always went after the man I wanted.....And to be honest I was not interested in the ones that pursued me....Don't get me wrong it was very exciting and nice but,I always ended up being there friend more.........So I say let them pursue you and if it is something You are interested in then go for it but if it is not....well atleast your heart won't be broken and you will be incontrol of the situation.......Posted 03-21-2006 at 04:45 PM by Tiffy
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Posted 03-21-2006 at 05:21 PM by Norway















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