then peace in the Middle East would come from a flying roundhouse kick. Because we all know that:

1. Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

2. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1985 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a business card from the Bunny Ranch, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 4 of diamonds, 7 of spades and a yellow #2 UNO card.

3. If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

If a meteor the size of Cuba was headed towards the Earth, ensuring the demise of every living thing except cockroaches (and Chuck Norris) then you would...